DO YOU CHOOSE UNTRUSTWORTHY PEOPLE TO TRUST? UNDEPENDABLE PEOPLE TO DEPEND ON? UNAVAILABLE PEOPLE TO LOVE?

If you do, start learning how to be Interdependent.  That is how to give your power away in conscious, healthy ways, because your self-worth is no longer dependent on outside sources.  Understand that anytime we care abut somebody or something we give away some power over our feelings.  It is impossible to love with giving away some power.  However when we choose to love someone (or thing – a pet, a car, shoes, sex…) we are giving them or it the power to make us happy.  We cannot do that without also giving them the power to hurt us or cause us to feel angry or scared.

The key is to be conscious of our choices and own our responsibility for the consequences.  If we are not working on healing our childhood wounds and changing our childhood programming, then, we cannot begin to see ourselves clearly, let alone anything else in our life.  By healing our emotional wounds and changing our intellectual programming we can start to practice discernment in our choices so that we can change our patterns of behavior and learn to trust ourselves.

As we develop healthy self-esteem based on knowing that the ‘Force’ is with us and Loves us, then we can consciously take the risk of Loving, of being Interdependent, without buying into the belief that the behavior of other determines our self-worth.  Don’t get it twisted.  We will have feelings – we will get hurt, we will be scared, we will get angry – because those feelings are an unavoidable part of life.  Feelings are a part of the human experience – feelings cannot be avoided.  And trying to avoid feelings only causes us to miss out on the Joy and Love and Happiness that can also be a part of the human experiences.

Codependence is about giving away power over our self-esteem.  Taking our self-definition and self-worth from outside ourselves or from some external source is dysfunctional because it causes us to give power over how we feel about ourselves to people and forces which we cannot control.

Anytime we give power over our self-esteem, our self-worth to someone or something outside of ourselves we are making that person or thing our “higher power”.