The topic of money often stirs up emotions, attitudes, and beliefs about the world around us. Unfortunately, in relationships money is often a taboo subject and difficult to talk about with your partner. Sometimes, it may very well be us not our partner with limited insight and understanding about what is “enough”. We may not have processed our own inner money beliefs. Many of us may need to get a better grasp on where our reactions to money stem from, and how our relationship with money shapes our concept of abundance and poverty.
Here are some questions to ask yourself about your relationship or potential relationship, can the two of you work out differences? Can you talk over problems with honesty? Can you solve disputes without hurting each other? Who is the spender and which of you is the saver?
Before you hitch up the U-Haul truck ask yourself what are your inner beliefs about money? When it comes to money how much is enough? Who will make it? Save it? For what? Spend it? On what? Who will budget, pay bills, do the shopping? Long before you even think of making a love commitment, engagement, or partnership. Stop, Drop, and Roll. Think about the key inner beliefs you may have about money, love, and how both have impacted you and your relationships.
Knowing that in a relationship attitude about money may be quite different and the answer to these inner-self questions and may make or break the best of relationships. If you have encountered such experiences use this opportunity to communicate and share your feelings with a professional. Stop the merry-or-round once and for all. If you are not on the same page about these issues with a potential or present mate there are bound to be problems. Yes, fact is more married couples fight about money than any other thing.
That brings us to the questions of how do we talk about the taboo topic…Money? Here is a road map that includes tips, skills, and tools to aid in a successful relationship and a successful you. Awareness punctures the dream bubble and brings the relationship down to earth. Let’s begin here, before you move in together or once you get engaged, come clean about everything financial which includes your credit history, debt load, income, retirement plans.
Ooooh, No! Was that a gasp from your lover, friend, the one you want to spend the rest of your life with saying, No? Sharing their credit history is out of the question. This may be a deal breaker. Beginning a life together with resistance and secrets begets more questions How can the other person love me if they doesn’t know me? The answer: HONESTY IS A MUST.
Moving forward, yet slowing down, perhaps romantic dinner date to discuss the topic of money could be a good place and time to ask the three following questions, gently: What is your current financial situation? What are your financial goals? What do you know about handling finances?
Ok, breathe; Debt happens to the best of us. Come to the table prepared to discuss, not argue or yell. Agree that all discussions about your finances will be conducted in a respectful manner. Do not cuss at each other. Do not degrade each other. If either of you gets out of line, own up to the misbehavior and find a way to prevent it from happening again.
“Many of us, women especially, have the irrational belief that caring for ourselves or putting our own mental and emotional health first is selfish,” DrBev agrees with Connelly. “Women are reared to be caregivers and usually put themselves last.” However, research recognizes money with arrogance as a prominent characteristic that impedes our inner-emotional-progress, and compassion for ourselves and others as a positive force for our own well-being. The purpose of a high emotional IQ is the practice to subdue arrogant, egocentric tendencies and awaken yourself to a higher purpose and enlightened awareness about your own state of life.
Money can’t buy you happiness only you can invest in your emotional wellness which is a way of self-fulfillment and therefore the only true way of attaining self-satisfaction and happiness in relationships with yourself and others. True happiness is an inside job!
BEVERLY DRBEV JACKSON, Licensed, Nationally Certified Psychotherapist to real -people with regular lives, doing regular things, and experiencing real-time drama, trauma, and chaos in their life.” She is a Certified Gestalt (Reality) Therapist. She is Real, Raw, and Authentic. Let’s take action and save you time, pain, and emotional suffering. What? What! What is your problem and what are you going to do about it? Contact DrBev Mental Health Counseling for information, education and knowledge about Emotions R Us.
DrBev specializes in helping survivors of traumatic experiences achieve peace of mind and transformation; She teaches you how to communicate with love in all your relationships most compassionately YOU. DrBev assist you as you strive for self-awareness and thrive for what will help you most in the long term, emotionally.
Additionally, Life Coaching available, just because, you just know that there’s got to be MORE to life than the existence you now find yourself living? Lets’ take you to the next level TRANSFORMATION. Give yourself MORE! Be MORE. Today. DrBev provides a wide variety of services U.S. and Abroad via telephone, Skype, and in person. Couples and Individuals welcomed for counseling, coaching, and VIP services. Let today be the first day of your new life and new story. DrBev is here to assist. Contact Now.