In today’s society there is a strong trend towards separation. More and more relationships break down. More and more people are permanently alone. In surveys, about 10 percent of singles perceive themselves to be happy, 40 percent feel unhappy, and 50 percent see themselves in the middle. For people who are in a partnership, up to 40 percent feel happy, 10 percent unhappy and 50 percent place themselves in between feeling happy and unhappy.
These results show that people respond differently to loneliness. Some people feel happy as singles, some unfortunate, and most live in the area between. However, there are four times more unhappy single people than people in a partnership. And most singles suffer from loneliness.
The following steps work for both singles and people in relationships. Also, it’s important to recognize that even people in relationships can feel lonely sometimes. Inner happiness is a good way for all of us, and most importantly for singles who perceive being alone as a source of unhappiness.
Process the loss of your partner. The first major step towards leading a positive single life is to overcome the loss of a former partner. Most people have had one or more relationships. The longer these relationships have lasted, and the more intense they were, the longer is the time needed to process through the sadness and negative emotions associated with the loss.
Live your grief completely. If you repress your grief, it will dig further into your subconscious. Subconsciously, most of us long for a happy, enduring relationship. It helps to look at the thoughts present inside. Cry over your loss and reflect on the essence of life, so that you may come back to positive thoughts again.
Listen to sad music, read books, or take walks in nostalgic places where the two of you used to frequent. Face the unhappiness directly. Talk with other people about your suffering. Forgive your partner and send him or her positive wishes for their well-being. We want all beings in the world to be happy, even those who are now lost to us.
Meditate. The way of meditation allows all of our thoughts and feelings to come out. Let your thoughts and feelings come and go at will. Just observe. Leave them be until they settle of their own accord. Think Positively. The way of positive thinking is to think about the meaning of life, to focus on positive goals and to overcome grief with positive thoughts and phrases.
Connect meditation and positive thinking. If we only meditate, we can easily sink into sadness. Positive thinking can lead to the suppression of sorrowful thoughts and to inner tensions. If we make room to connect both meditation and positive thinking at the same time, our tensions will resolve. Inner happiness appears.
View single life as an opportunity rather than as a curse. Consider your single life as an opportunity for intensive growth to inner happiness. Make the path of inner happiness the center of your life while this chance exists. There are many people in couples who would jump at such freedom!
As a single person, you get the opportunity for a lot of rest. This is at once both a great burden and a great opportunity. Plenty of rest is the main path to enlightenment; with plenty of rest, inner tension dissolves almost by itself. Connecting a lot of rest with regular spiritual practice is the optimal way to enlightenment. Those singles who do not try to abolish rest by maintaining too many contacts with many people or constantly turning on the TV, but who instead seek to make the most of the opportunity to rest and combine this restfulness with spiritual practices, tend to grow into inner happiness.
originated by: Nils Horn, Teresa Flickety,