OH, Hell No, She FINE!!!

Frustrated, Irritated, Neurotic, and Erratic.   All the time, twenty-four-seven, three-hundred sixty-five days a year.  The girl is so emotionally unstable, DrBev I don’t know what an emotionally healthy person looks like, anymore.  She said that as a little girl she had some not so good experiences growing up, but, she won’t give me any details.  Does that mean she  has or is at risk for serious mental health problems? Is there some self-help stuff I could suggest to improve her state of mind before I commit to leaving her for my own emotional GOOD.  How do I know if she just has issues or mental illness? DrBev, I love this girl, our sex is great and she is so FINE.

The Surgeon General’s report defines mental health as “The successful performance of mental function, resulting in productive activities, fulfilling relationships with other people, and the ability to adapt to change and cope with adversity.”

Mental health generally refers to an individual’s thoughts, feelings and actions, particularly when faced with life’s challenges and stresses. Good mental health isn’t just the absence of mental health problems. Although different cultures have differing expectations for health, many of the following characteristics are likely to be present in individuals with good mental health:

  • A sense of well-being and contentment
  • A zest for living – the ability to enjoy life, to laugh and have fun
  • Resiliency – being able to deal with life’s stresses and bounce back from adversity
  • Self-realization – participating in life to the fullest extent possible, through meaningful activities and positive relationships
  • Flexibility – the ability to change, grow, and experience a range of feelings, as life’s circumstances change
  • A sense of balance in one’s life – between solitude and sociability, work and play, sleep and wakefulness, rest and exercise, etc.
  • A sense of well-roundedness – with attention to mind, body, spirit, creativity, intellectual development, health, etc.
  • The ability to care for oneself and for others
  • Self-confidence and good self-esteem

The SEX may be great and her body FINE, however, our minds are not separate entities from the rest of us.  A mental health problem can be a short-term reaction to a stressor (such as a loss, painful event, illness, medication, etc.). If the situation does not fade away or if the symptoms of distress are interfering with other aspects of life, assistance from a mental health professional may be needed.

Let your girl know that we do not generally avoid getting help for a physical problem (such as having a broken bone set by an orthopedist, or a cavity filled by a dentist). Yet some people believe it is shameful to seek help for an emotional health problem, or think that an emotional problem means you are “crazy.” In many situations, the sooner help is sought; the less ongoing difficulty there will be with the problem.

Although, mental health problems can be the outcome of many different kinds of experiences in a person’s life, from early childhood to later life events. Know that the  majority of people who experience mental health problems can overcome them or learn to live with them, especially if they seek help from a qualified source soon enough.

Understand that a mental illness is a condition that adversely impacts an individual’s thought processes, emotions, behaviors and/or interactions with other people, or interferes with one’s abilities to effectively manage one’s life. Many minor mental health issues can be relieved by some common-sense self-help measures to see if you feel better such as get enough rest, eat a balanced diet, avoid caffeine, alcohol, tobacco, or other drugs and engage in physical activities.



DrBev is a National Certified Counselor, Licensed Mental Health Counselor, and a Certified Gestalt Psychotherapist, Seminar - WorkShop Facilitator, Radio Personality, Author and President and Educational Director of DrBev Mental Health Counseling.
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  1. Posted August 26, 2011 at 3:13 am | Permalink

    This information is sorely needed. Thank you for explaining that just as we go to the doctor when we have physical symptoms we need to see a mental health professional for symptoms with “our thought processes, emotions, behaviors and/or interactions with other people.”
    When we go to a medical doctor he prescribes things we can do to feel better. A mental health professional does the same thing. Sometimes a medical doctor will find the problem is easily fixed and other times we may need more extensive treatment.
    I think it is a good ideal to get a check up for psychological symptoms. We may find a simple solution or we may need more intensive therapy. Either way we are being responsible for ALL of our well being.
    Thank you Dr. Bev you always break it down so that it is easy to understand. I now have a reference for the traits of an emotionally healthy person. 🙂

  2. TK
    Posted August 27, 2011 at 9:27 am | Permalink

    Well many times I find myself mentally unstable for a relationship, but its because I am too strong minded as opposed to too emotional. That’s why I have never been in a lasting relationship, I’m not sure what to do myself….

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