Dr. Hendricks speaks with clarity about ideas like “Spirituality”, “Consciousness”, and “Genuine Love” doctor of the Hendricks Institute in, Ojai California. He has served for more than 30 years as one of the major contributors to the fields of relationships transformation and body/mind therapies along with his wife Dr. Kathelyn Hendricks, Gay is the author of many bestsellers including ‘Conscious Loving’, ‘Spirit Centered Relationships’ and ‘A Corporate Mystic’.
What the mistaken assumption is about love, that you’ve got projected onto love and to let go of those other dramas that we put on it and just feel the real essence of genuine love is one of the most delicious things that’s available to human beings. Conscious loving first and foremost is realizing that you can create the kind of love experience you want by shifting your unconscious intentions to conscious intentions that you have chosen. I find in relationships particularly that’s very helpful because a lot of people get into big arguments and fight about things on the conceptual level, you know, people get very attached to being right in their opinions and beliefs and that kind of thing, but the closer you get to spirit inside yourself, the less things there are to fight about, and when you really can connect up with that feeling of oneness with yourself and other people, you kind of lose the urge to fight with other people because you realize that you’re fighting with the other end of yourself, you know, it’s all one connected thing.
What does he mean about genuine love? Gay Hendricks states ” What I’ve found is that it’s very easy to mistake genuine love for other things that are not genuine love. Like, for example, the need for approval. Often times people can get confused between what’s love and what’s approval. So they may think they’re in love with another person, but what they really are in is a relationship or an entanglement in which they need the other persons approval. A lot of people also, especially if they’ve grown up in a family where there’s a lot of conflict, make a connection, a false connection between love and adrenaline.
People then create dramas in their life over and over again, needless dramas in the mistaken assumption that that’s going to create love in their lives, and it’s very helpful for people to look at the unhealthy pattern that they’ve created in their love relationships, they will always, by just looking at the patterns and looking at the result you’ve created, you can always tell what the mistaken assumption is about love that you’ve got projected onto love, and to let go of those other dramas that we put on it and just feel the real essence of genuine love is one of the most delicious things that’s available to human beings.
The trick to it is to notice carefully the results that you’re creating in your life that you complain about. Because if you look carefully at the results you’re creating in your life that you complain about, that will unerringly tell you what your unconscious commitments are. Look at the things you complain about and, and then from that you should have insight into the thing you’re committed to, I just think that’s a brilliant approach.
Conscious loving is realizing first and foremost that you can create the kind of love experience you want by shifting your unconscious intentions to conscious intentions that you have chosen, and once you create the kind of relationship you want, you can keep the intimacy growing and flowing by taking full healthy responsibility for the issues that come up so that you don’t do any blaming back and forth, you can keep the intimacy flowing and growing by speaking honestly, speaking authentically about whatever is going on, speaking honestly about your feelings, speaking honestly about your actions so that you don’t have secrets, and speaking honestly about what your goals and wishes and dreams are with the other person.