Capt. Save a Hoe Trades in Cape 4 Cat Womyn Suit

How is it that when life gets tough you feel confused “Do I throw in the towel or work it out?” No understanding your monkey mind thoughts, wondering thoughts just going around and around in your head, even when you want to stop thinking about whatever your “It” is, for example “When will it be my turn to love feel valued for my worth because I am confident in my skills, I’m a good person. But I am not a happy person.

I cry that I put others needs before mine. I am a people pleaser. I feel good went others are in crisis and I come to the rescue. Family, friends, lovers, partners, even people I don’t know, even though I don’t want to, I can’t seem to stop being the Savior everyone. I am so tired. My relationships seem to bring the same revolving drama.

The story goes like this…Damsel or Prince in distress and I come to the rescue, save the day. My self-will worth feels good to be needed. True be told, I am sick and tired of being sick and tired of my Capt. Save a Hoe behaviors “Saving others while, not saving myself.” My Monkey Mind cycle harshly when my thoughts are about me, instance, “When I want to be saved, I get no love, attention or compassionate. I feel no one pays me in attention.

I wonder what would happen if I gave to myself that which I give to others. Pamper and nurture myself. Perhaps even take the advice I self-righteously give to others Practice “Persistence and Patience” in my life.

It’s the little things in a relationship that simply mean everything. Especially when the relationship is the relationship with Me, Myself, and I. DrBev’s World gives me permission to Believe in Me, Me and Me. When I feel responsible for others, I fix, protect, rescue, control carry their feeling, don’t listen. I feel tired, anxious, fearful, and liable. I am concerned with the solution, answers, circumstances, being right, details, and performance. I am a MANIPULATOR. My pay-off, I expect the person to live up to my expectations. I am Capt. Save a Hoe.

When I feel responsible to others, I show empathy, encourage, share, confront, level, am sensitive, I listen. I feel relaxed, free, and aware. I feel my self-worth is HIGH. I am concerned with relating person-to-person, feelings; I am concerned with the person. I believe that if I just share myself, the other person has enough to make it. I am a helper, a guide. I can trust I can let go. I am a Powerful Thinker with the ability of Self-Awareness.

Cat-Woman Suit here I come. I am determined to decide what I want and don’t want from people. Cat-Woman Suit requires power thinking thoughts she knows that with any person or situation that gives her feelings of frustration, anger, or hurt. Cat-Woman Suit sets boundaries and is about enforcing them for her protection of herself.

If you have been a Capt. Save a Hoe for a while, years, remember the first few times when you are under pressure and need to enforce boundaries hang in there “Persistence and Patience” become your best friend.

For the first few times you do this, it will be hard for people who already know you, because they aren’t used to this you won’t be as skillful at first, you may be heavy handed…How be so ever, re-remember to be patient and bear with yourself. Know that people may over-react as you set boundaries and become authentically YOU. They may also over-react because the first few times you do this you won’t be as skillful as after you’ve practiced and put on your Cat-Woman Suit.

Would like more information contact DrBev for an appointment, today @ services available. Save yourself some time, pain, and emotional suffering. DrBev will help you get your life Rocking and Popping so there ain’t no stopping you.


DrBev is a National Certified Counselor, Licensed Mental Health Counselor, and a Certified Gestalt Psychotherapist, Seminar - WorkShop Facilitator, Radio Personality, Author and President and Educational Director of DrBev Mental Health Counseling.
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  1. Ramona Burton
    Posted August 12, 2011 at 2:55 am | Permalink

    How do we (people) fall into this trap of always giving others more than we give ourselves? Was this a behavior that developed in childhood? A change is definitely needed for me… Thank you for sharing Dr.Bev

  2. Dawn Franklin
    Posted August 12, 2011 at 5:33 am | Permalink

    Hmmm..interesting take on the roles a person takes to help others, despite the bad feelings that creep up. Its so true that sometimes a person can get so caught up n other peoples problems..and they lose themselves n the process. Basically wanting to save or help everyone but when it comes to yourself your lacking n may not have a clue as to going about.helping yourself. I guess it is so true that sometimes u gotta back off from trying to help everyone else and concentrate on yourself…because really if you aren’t happy n fulfilled n your own life..helping others all the time is kinda n vain to a certain extent. So what I got out of this arti le personally is that its ok to help others up to a point…but you don’t want to get caught up n others lives n lose sight of your own has to prioritize. Sure helping others is good but putting your own self first..realizing your personal needs is just as important. One has to find a balance between the two…

  3. Spring Opara
    Posted August 12, 2011 at 2:26 pm | Permalink

    Well, let’s see where to begin…

    For Me LOVE is a constant state of Being. When will it be my turn? When is it not? I dont seek for anything outside of MySelf to complete me so it lets others off the “hook” for that responsibility and me as well (towards them). I feel it is our “nature” to want to “be of service” to others – the trick is to “do it because I want to” and for no other reason – no strings or hidden agenda – you know, EXPECTATIONS. This helps me to not be disappointed in anyone’s response or lack of, around me being of service. Im doing it because I want to – no other reason.

    Also, when it comes to things like information (oh I need or want to help So & So), give it and keep it pushing. What ones does with the information is their business/responsibility/choice not mine. If I am waiting for some response from them I am so getting in the way of the Healing Spirit is providing.

    I also realize that we all have our own, unique paths and when I feel that need to don a Capt Save Ho cape…which I no longer own, I reach for My Spiritual Shoes (staying on My Path) instead and show them, by the way I live My Life, what might work for them. Again, we each have our own paths and the trick is to get outta other folks business and let them WALK their path. This can be a struggle for some who are parents in particular.

    Often times,I feel we don the Capt Save a Ho mentality to distract us from doing our “own” inner work; “Oh I have to do this for So&So in order for them to be happy” to me is an excuse for YOU NOT doing YOUR work to be happy.

    Everything in Life – Love, Happy, Peace are inward journeys so an enlightened person would understand that helping in a Capt Save a Ho way is not what it’s about – seeking answers in the “external.” Doing this is a device of the ego and NOT of Spirit.

    All of our problems, answers, questions and solutions lie WITHIN, thus, if we are in a “Save” mode, is that really being helpful? Save from what, when you understand that EVERYTHING is in Divine Right Action (a lesson we agreed to learn PRIOR to crossing over into this plane of existence).

    The best one can do in such situations is to point out to oneself that in order to save others, we MUST first save ourselves in order to Give from Our OVERFLOW and NOT from our Cup…and when its coming from an Overflow…well, that feeling of “why the hell am I always saving someone AND feeling depleted,” wont be there.

    My thoughts anyway…

  4. Posted August 12, 2011 at 4:18 pm | Permalink

    Great post. Now get out of my head!

    I truly believe that many of us fall into this trap and then resent the people we assist when they don’t live up to the unrealistic expectations that we set.

    It’s was hard, but I learned to put myself first. I also learned to not expect anything from others.

    Ironically, when you become the ‘authentic’ you, the same folks accuse you of ‘changing.’ Funny how they get angry when they can no longer use and manipulate you. Funny how much better you feel when you are no longer carrying the weight and problems of the world in an effort to seem like the good person. We make our lives more complicated than it has to be.

    The world becomes a brighter and more enjoyable place when you live your life for yourself and not to please others.

  5. Viv
    Posted August 12, 2011 at 5:19 pm | Permalink

    OMG! Dr. Bev! You know I LOVED this article!(LMBO!!!!) Oh yes, I use to be Capt. Save a Ho– Not Anymore Though! I’ve learned that it’s ok; it’s IMPORTANT, to be #1 to you– to LOVE yourself! And to SAVE yourself (GET OUT) from a toxic relationship. When someone drains your energy, makes you feel angry, hurt, or unvalued, like you say: “Back away from the light.” I’ve traded in my Capt. Save a Ho cape for my CAT WOMAN SUIT! No longer interested in fixing, helping, or saving anyone from themselves.

    Always learning.. always growing… thanks to YOU!


  6. Nekita Randall-Anderson
    Posted August 13, 2011 at 3:41 am | Permalink

    Well after reading this I can certainly see how I have evolved into a Cat Woman, I’ve spent too many years and too much time help others, while I was causing damage to myself. After I met my studsband and she was able to show me who I was, I shed my cape for black leather! I’m about taking a stand and making sure I contnue to stay on my two feet ( should I say four paws!?) lol

  7. Thank You Dr Bev!
    Posted August 18, 2011 at 2:52 am | Permalink

    I don’t want no one going home feeling like a failure and I like to help. I could only do so much i don’t hang with people who won’t change themselves once i figure it out. if it’s a man, my signal to leave is when i realize that he won’t know happy if it slapped him in the face (no future and a dead carcass). I used to say I’m the sweetest bitch you’ll ever meet. Now I say, I am the sweetest person you’ll ever meet but don’t test me, you’ll regret it. They say not to have expectations, I disagree. My expectaion is not to cross me. haha Thanks Dr. Bev.

  8. Thank You Dr Bev!
    Posted August 28, 2011 at 2:59 am | Permalink

    I am now Catwoman!!!!!!

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