“Let’s Be Real, Turn My Swag On.” Military Wives answer Dumb Questions

DrBevMy top dreaded question is “How do you DO it?” (referring to deployment).  There is no answer that can adequately describe the insanity that is my life during deployment. I don’t even know how I do it. I just know that I do, and I will continue to, because I LOVE MY MARINE, says Gaile. THE TOP 10 QUESTIONS NOT TO ASK A MILITARY SPOUSE.  A spouse can be anyone connected with a service person, wife, mother, daughter, son, partner, lover, friend, etc.

DrBev agrees with the writer of the blog “Riding that Crazy Roller Coaster called Military Life” she is often faced with good-intending yet frustrating questions from civilians.  Not frustrating because of the innocent questions themselves, but frustrating because I just can’t answer them. I either don’t know the answer or I’m sworn to OPSEC secrecy or it’s impossible for civilians (myself included sometimes) to truly understand the sacrifices our service members make for our country.  So feel free to ask me one of the following questions, but don’t expect an answer.


1) How long will you live here?

2) Where are you going next?/When will you get orders?

3) Where exactly is your husband?

4) When is he coming home?

5) How often can he call/email/Skype?

6) Don’t you wish he had a normal job?

7) Doesn’t it bother you that he misses out on so much of your children’s lives?

8) Why doesn’t he just get out of the military?

9) When is he going to retire?

10) Did you watch the news the other night about all those people who were killed?  Your husband isn’t there is he?

To all my friends out there, what tops your list?


DrBev is a National Certified Counselor, Licensed Mental Health Counselor, and a Certified Gestalt Psychotherapist, Seminar - WorkShop Facilitator, Radio Personality, Author and President and Educational Director of DrBev Mental Health Counseling.
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  1. Posted September 8, 2011 at 4:26 pm | Permalink

    If you don’t inquire about any of things, then you will be accused of not caring. :-/

    Being a military wife can be daunting, but they signed up for the role. I wish them the best.

  2. Posted September 8, 2011 at 5:27 pm | Permalink

    I understand this because I for some reason pull lots of dramatic life situations to myself for growth I assume(lol) and so what I mean is I never talk when my life is super Chaotic…..cause the answer to a simple question is too long or too much for me to discuss with out sobbing. And I love and treasure my friends and am touched by their concern, however I have found that talking over and over about something just makes you both feel bad. I dont want to burden my friends with problems I have obviously created for some INSANE(LMAOFF) reason. all jokes aside I believe in fixing myself and I share when I can….but I have learned to be careful what I share and to take responsibility for my own actions and to handle them in the most healthy ways I possibly can. I am working on only spilling love from my mouth~PERIOD~

  3. Miggy
    Posted September 9, 2011 at 3:50 pm | Permalink

    Wow is incredible .. I loved the lil video and is true what tbey going thru is not easy .. Thank u Drbev

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